Blog Update: 20th August 2015

Hello everyone! 🙂

Just to give you guys a quick update here in regards to the lack of update on this blog.

I have joined a website called Scriggler. It is a writing website that lets fellow writers read and comment on any piece of literature that someone has written. I have been with them for a couple of weeks now, and I am putting up the chapters of my Sinjan Origins story over there, for hopefully some criticque.

I do enjoy writing very much, and I will probably continue to for a long time. This blog won’t shut down unless I specifically have to.

Now currently, as I transfer and edit the chapters for Sinjan Origins onto Scriggler, I am drafting in my head the next chapters of both my SWTOR story and Sinjan Origins.

But not only that, I have been working on other projects with my friends on our Youtube channel, Crossbone Vanguards. On top of that, I am currently looking for a job in my field, which is in film production. And on top of that, I’m pursuing my interests in gaming as well with a Let’s Play channel.

Of course, I will assure you that none of this will take my attention away from writing. For as long as I have my phone or a notepad and pen, I will be writing in any free time I have. I have my goals and I have my priorities. Everything I am doing or looking to do comes from my own passion to do them, just like my writing.

With all that said, I’d like to thank you all for your patience. And I hope that you understand where I am coming from and what I am intending to do.

Thank you all. :).

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Liebster Award

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So this is super random and out of the norm of my usual posts… But my dear friend and guildie Xam Xam nominated me for this Liebster award, which is an award given by bloggers to other bloggers to recognise and get to know new and upcoming bloggers. Because of this, I have been tasked with writing 11 fun facts about myself and answer a set of questions by my nominator. So…

11 Facts about The Person Simply known as Captain

  • I graduated from Lasalle College of the Arts in Singapore and have a Bachelor’s Degree in Film. Where I learnt how to write stories well is through the classes I attended in Screenwriting.
  • I’m an okay cook. I’m still trying to learn some new recipes. I usually only cook for myself, but if the opportunity comes, I could cook for a group or for a special someone. Hehe.
  • Most people don’t notice this in person. My left pinky finger got crushed by a large and heavy piece of shaped stone when I was a baby. I ended up having a crooked finger for as long as I can remember.
  • Most of my stories are inspired by the music I listen to. Most of it is Evanescence songs, but there are some Donna Burke in there, as well as songs from certain anime.
  • Before I decided to write novels and scripts, I wanted to write for manga and anime. I had an original work that a old friend and I wanted to produce as a manga, but real life forced us to ice that project for years. As my biggest strength is in writing, I deviated my goal from manga to novel. But if I do go anywhere with my original work, I’d like to turn my stories into anime.
  • Personally, I’m very shy. It’s very difficult for me to reach out to people, even for help with the littlest thing. But at the same time, it hurts me a lot to feel left alone. That’s when I start to feel depressed and it becomes a struggle for me to combat that everyday.
  • I’ve started doing some recordings of my playthroughs in games like Hearthstone and Heroes of the Storm. Once my new microphone comes in, I shall start recording a ZaCaptain Plays of Knights of the Old Republic 1 and 2. Stay tuned to my Twitter @IAmZaCaptain for more on that.
  • I want to play an actual game of Dungeons and Dragons. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do for a long time now.
  • Something else that I would like to do one day is voice act. I am able to do an array of accents and can do some impressions of characters and people.
  • With my friends, I’m one of those people who injects humor into a situation, as and when it is appropriate to do so. In a zombie apocalypse, I would actually quote Markiplier in Stranded Deep. “I need to panic first. I gotta get all my panicking out of my system. I GONNA DIE! WOOO! AWW, THE FAMILY! AWW, EVERYONE I KNOW AND LOVE THINKS I’M DEAD! AHH, I’M GONNA BE STUCK HERE FOREVER! WHERE’S WILSON?! AHHHHHH!”
  • I’m one of those people who can do anything, if I put my mind to it. A jack of all trades, but too lazy to be a master of them. Hehe.

Questions from my Nominator, Xam Xam

  • What is the one food you could not live without?
    • Chicken Eggs. It’s a simple and essential food item. 🙂
  • Have you played any other MMO’s besides SWTOR?
    • Oh, where do I start? Maplestory, Grand Fantasia, Runescape, Cabal Online, Granado Espada, and a bunch of other Korean-made MMOs, whose names I forgot, that I played for a short while, before learning that it sucked.
  • Which Star Wars Movie is your favourite?
    • The Phantom Men– Haha just kidding. Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi.
  • Dark Side or Light Side?
    • I’m Grey. But if I must, Light Side. My Dark Side choices only involves feelings of love for family and a significant other.
  • If you could travel anywhere on Earth, where would you go?
    • I don’t really have a particular place to go. But Japan has always been somewhere I would want to go.
  • What other hobbies do you have besides gaming and blogging?
    • I’ve always enjoyed editing videos and sounds, long before I studied film. (Free fun fact about myself, I was studying games programming before film.)
      But also, I play card games like Cardfight Vanguard. I have a second blog and Youtube channel I started with my friends on that game.
  • What is your favourite planet in the Star Wars Universe?
    • Coruscant always has a special place in my heart.
  • What was your favourite childhood toy or game?
    • I used to play a lot of soccer downstairs in the void deck with the other kids. I was a very active child, before I decided to sit down and play computer games.
  • When creating a character in any game, do you always play as your own gender or does is it not a major consideration for you?
    • It depends on how motivated I am to play as me, really. Most of the time, I play as a female. Nothing like following the story of a girl on an adventure through the game world.
      But there are some games where I created myself, instead.
  • If you could pick one feature (add on’s, minigame etc.) to add into SWTOR that is not in the game currently or, improve a current feature in the game, what would it be?
    • Pazaak. Or a new card game based minigame, that is balanced and fun.
  • If you could pick any colour crystal for your lightsaber (or assault cannon, blaster pistols etc.), what would it be?
    • Even if I am a Jedi, I’ve always rocked a red crystal. Other than that, green is my other choice. That’s my Christmas side showing hehe.

Blogs I Nominate

I don’t have any in mind to nominate. Not a lot of people follow my work. But there is someone. Sorry that I forgot your name and your twitter handle, if you have one, but mhorgrim and his blog, For a Few Credits More, followed me on my blog. He has some neat articles up about his personal opinions on things SW:TOR related like PvP and the GTN. Go check him out, will ya? 🙂

Question for my Nominees

(Sorry Xami, I’m really lazy about this :P)

  • What is the one food you could not live without?
  • Have you played any other MMO’s besides SWTOR?
  • Which Star Wars Movie is your favourite?
  • Dark Side or Light Side?
  • If you could travel anywhere on Earth, where would you go?
  • What other hobbies do you have besides gaming and blogging?
  • What is your favourite planet in the Star Wars Universe?
  • What was your favourite childhood toy or game?
  • When creating a character in any game, do you always play as your own gender or does is it not a major consideration for you?
  • If you could pick one feature (add on’s, minigame etc.) to add into SWTOR that is not in the game currently or, improve a current feature in the game, what would it be?
  • If you could pick any colour crystal for your lightsaber (or assault cannon, blaster pistols etc.), what would it be?

Thanks for reading! If you like to ask me any questions, leave it in the comments or ask me on Twitter. I’m still working on the new chapters for both SWTOR Story and Sinjan Origins, so do stay tuned for them. 🙂

Sinjan Origins: Chapter 14 – Mermaid’s Rock

The history of the mermaids and sirens goes far back in history. Once they were all one and the same, all mermaids and no sirens. Until the day when the Mermaid Queen charmed a human man with her song and beauty. She was in love with the man, for he was kind-hearted and a good man, vouched for by her magic. But the man got drunk one night and when he met her in his drunken stupor, he raped her against her will. Because of this, she lost all her mermaid magic, and became fully human, unable to change her legs into a tailfin and her ability to sense the songs of the heart. The ordeal destroyed her and, unable to cope with her misery of losing her family and being betrayed by the man she loved, she took his life alongside her own by drowning in the sea.

The loss of their beloved queen and the circumstances of it split the mermaid population into two since then. One side was determined to exact revenge on the entire human male populace, seeing them as a scourge that needs to be eradicated. The other side chose to mourn the lost of their Queen, and move on with their lives, knowing full well the pointlessness of revenge. Sisters were divided by this civil war, and many were left questioning whether what they believe was the right thing to do. In the end, the side that swore revenge soon could not accept and tolerate the passive attitudes of the mermaids who chose against revenge. And they broke away from them, calling themselves sirens.

Mermaids continued to live in peace and harmony in isolation, living their long lives by the day. Howevery, they were forced into the role of keeping the sirens in check. Time and again, sirens would venture out to the shores of human settlements and lure men into a watery grave. Every story that involves the death of a man or sailor by a mermaid was the work of a siren. Their continued isolation from the human lands was resulted from them mislabeling the sirens as mermaids, not knowing any better. They didn’t care much if their name was tarnished, so long as the humans let them live in peace.

This was everything that Selene totd me about the mermaids and sirens. Selene heard that they were planning something grand in their mad quest for genocidal revenge, so she and her sister came to the town to enlist the aid of the humans to thwart the sirens. But their capture by Ergur stopped that plan. And if it wasn’t for me, Selene would have shared her sister’s fate.

I become amazed sometimes at coincidences like these. Ergur swore revenge against mermaids for the loss of his brother, much like the sirens did against mankind, quite literally, for the loss of their former Queen. Come to think of it, Ergur’s brother must have been killed by a siren all those years ago, but Ergur is too lost in himself to care to hear it out. He’d sooner die than accept the truth from someone like Selene, even if I could vouch for her.

I had my doubts on whether I was up to the task meant for an army of knights. But oddly enough, Selene believed in me and believed in what I was capable of. After all, she has been dreaming of my memories. As I stand in front of the pigeon post, I began to ponder about everything that has happened in my life, and how it has led me to aiding a mermaid, of all things, to stop an evil plan in the works. This wasn’t the first time it has happened to me.

Haruki discovered her mother’s journal one day and she learnt that her mother found out something strange about the Crin Monarchy. Her mother did not write much about it, but Haruki was convinced that her parents died because of whatever this strange thing was. Her need to learn more about her parents’ death put a bit of strain on our relationship, but I still helped her out and I always stood by her side, even if it was next to her desk as she studied piles upon piles of records and reports in candlelight. I wasn’t afraid of losing her to her work, but as her lover, I worried so much about her. Even Sir Akio was worried and gave me these guns to better protect Haruki with. These guns were crafted by the blacksmith named Koruto, the man I always called Uncle when I was a kid. Sir Akio told me that Koruto wanted me to have these guns, believing that it is too powerful for any other man to wield. The Legion of Smiths must never know how to make these weapons he created, for it will only encourage kingdoms to war.

As I pull out the guns to reminisce, I noticed an engraving on the slide of both guns. The left one said “Eden”. The right said “Chaos”. I know those words as two names that this world could become. A world of peace and harmony or a world of conflict and discord. Holding them now suddenly made me feel like the choice over which one the world would become is resting in my hands.  Again, I smiled in amusement at another coincidence occurring before me.

it was time to meet Selene once more, and I made my way back to the docks, sword sheathed and guns holstered. No matter how I was feeling, I had to be up to the task to help Selene fight the sirens. If what she says is true, I can’t let the sirens wipe out the entire male population.

The money I made from working in Ann’s Tavern allowed me to buy a dingy from one of the ships’ captain. Selene would guide me to her home of Mermaid’s Rock, an uncharted island far into the ocean, hidden by a ward that made the island invisible to stop people from discovering and landing on their home. I began rowing out to sea. It was quite the workout for me, but my past training as a knight saw me through far enough to barely see the mainland. This was the spot that I was to meet Selene, and I prepared some rope as I waited for her.

Not long after, Selene popped up from the sea surface, smiling. “Hello, Fukuda.”

“Afternoon, Selene.” I greeted her, before tossing her the loop side of the rope.

“What’s this?” Selene asked.
“It’s a rope that you can pull the boat to your home.”

Selene started laughing. “Oh, did I forget to mention that the ward around my home also steers human ships and boats away from the island?”

Hearing her laugh like that is making me more and more convinced that this girl is actually toying with me for her amusement. But as much as I feel like being played with, I really can’t be angry with Selene. Even if I knew little about her, I knew enough to know that this is who she is at heart. She is a mermaid after all. And being playful like like came with the chance of growing up in a peaceful environment. In a way, seeing her laugh reminds me a lot of myself and Haruki back when we were growing up with Wilburt in his home.

But as I was lost in my thoughts, I suddenly felt a tug on my sleeve. In one motion, Selene pulled me off the boat and into the sea. It was then that Selene soon realised that I don’t know how to swim, as she saw me struggling in the water, trying desperately to keep my head above the surface. Quickly, she dove down a bit and placed my hands onto her shoulders, swimming up to the surface with me in tow.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” she hastily apologised to me. “I thought you knew how to swim.”

I was too entranced by my gasps for air to answer her back. I was flailed around with my legs, trying my hardest to stay afloat with my head above the water. Selene then turned around and repositioned my hands onto her shoulders again. “Hold onto as tight as you can, alright?” Selene instructed me, before she started swimming off further out to sea.

Despite carrying my weight, she swam at a magnificent speed across the surface of the water. The winds and splashes of sea water in front forced me to keep my eyes shut, and my body felt like it was being pulled apart like I was on a torture rack. I had a strong urge to stiffen up my body to bear with the motions, but the best thing I could do right now is keep my grip tight and my body loose and trust in Selene to take me safely to Mermaid’s Rock.

Soon enough, I felt Selene starting to slow down, and I could feel the ground underneath the water surface. I couldn’t open my eyes just yet, and I waddled out of the water onto a beach. The ordeal left me feeling tired and I had to lay down on the sand to catch my breath. As i lay there, I felt the sun’s heat tanning on me, and its light piercing my eyelids to make me see red instead of black. For a while, my panting was all that I could hear, until the sound of girls giggling started getting louder and louder.

I instantly regret opening my eyes when I heard the laughter stop. It was a sight that all men could only fantasize about. A sight they would literally die for. It was the sight of waking up surrounded by various beautiful young girls, absolutely naked and fawning over you. It was… utterly embarrassing to find myself in this situation.

Selene quickly scattered away the other girls and picked me up from the ground. “I’m sorry, Fukuda. Most mermaids have never seen a human man before in their lives.”
“I could have used that warning some time ago, Selene.”

She let out a chuckle. “Welcome to my home. Mermaid’s Rock.”

SWTOR Story: Chapter 4

Deep down, both Elena and I had expected this to come; Tantane drawing her blade against us. For it to be so soon was a surprise, but we remained undeterred.

Elena brandished her blasters and aimed at each of the Imperials; Tantane in front, Netherim in the distance over my left shoulder. She maintained a sharp eye on them, like the sharpshooter I know her to be. Being Mirialan, she was already born with an attunement to the Force, and over the years, she has honed her senses as a marksman shooter using the Force; a feat that only members of our family know of.

I did not draw out my lightsabers. I refused to. All of this felt too familiar to me, similar to when I first encountered Tantane so long ago. That line of action led me down one of my darkest moments of my life, and I refuse to walk down that line again, but not out of fear or hate, but out of my own resolve to step further into the light, given to me by my father and sister.

“We’re not going to fight, Tantane.” I said. “Leave us now. This will be where we part ways.”

“Come now, dear.” she taunted. “You know as well as I do that any activity on this moon must require members of both Republic and Imperial forces.” She began playfully twirling her lightsaber as she savored the moment. “I wouldn’t want to tattle on my favourite former apprentice of mine.”

Her tone became as eerie as when we first arrived at the Temple. “You know you want to strike me down that badly. Take your chance.”

The desire to exact all the suffering I endured under her control was building up inside of me, wanting to burst out like water crashing against a dam to break it. But if that desire is the water, then the dam represents my other desire; to leave and go find and save Dad from Vitiate’s forces.

“If you won’t leave, Tantane, then we will.” I said to her as we slowly backed away from them, with Elena keeping both blasters aimed towards them. But the instant I turned away, The Force guided me to turn and draw out my lightsabers, and I found myself blocking Tantane’s burst of Force Lightning.

“You do not turn your back on me!” Tantane shouted out with an aggressive and vindictive tone, continuing to channel her power. I held strong on my place, deflecting it with minimal difficulty. For a moment, it felt strange to me that I was able to defend myself. Perhaps it had been my past experiences dealing with multiple Sith Lords over the years in various warzones. Maybe it was because I knew the capabilities of Tantane’s power. Or maybe it was my own willpower to save my father. Whatever it was, I found a new strength in me that I could tap into.

I held her off long enough and with a push, I dispelled the Force Lightning. For once, I could stand tall, with my head held high. The weight on my shoulders disappeared and I noticed that my lightsabers felt lighter in my grip. My focus was stronger like before. And my heart was filled with the purpose to enact justice in the name of the Republic. I wish I had time to revel in this feeling, but it was a time to fight.

“If I am going to fight you, Tantane…” I called out, flourishing my lightsabers. “It will be as a Jedi Knight, defending herself from a typical Sith attack.”

Tantane was left infuriated by my resolve, compelling her to signal for her mercenary to open fire on us.

Netherim launched an array of sweeping blaster fire at Elena and I, but I expertly deflected ever single shot that came our way. My speed was unmatched, and not a blaster bolt hit either of us.

When it came to combat situations, Elena and I are in perfect sync. Even with a difference in combat styles, our sisterhood paired our minds much stronger than any Force bond could. The instinct of the sisterhood kicked in and with one final deflection, I spun out of the way to reveal Elena, ready with an aimed shot at Netherim. The shot knocked him back, and he had little time to react, only able to hit a button on his gauntlet. He came close to the edge of the floor, but his hydraulics overloaded itself, and he avoided falling off.

Without hesitation, I leaped towards the Sith Sorcerer, but she countered with a wave of Force power, pushing me back a short distance. That wasn’t going to stop me and immediately I rushed her down, with a flurry of strikes and slashes, dodging every lightning strike she threw at me. Elena and Netherim engaged in a firefight, trying to shoot the other down; but one was agile as a nexu, and the other had armor no stronger than a hovertank.

The battle at the top floor of the Machine Chamber almost looked like a great battle in a long standing war. The number of blaster bolts flying across the area, combined with the sounds of a lightsaber battle filling the air. The fight with Revan weeks ago was matched by this bout.

Despite my speed, Tantane blocked every blade rush I threw at her. As precise as I was, she knew my combat style all too well. She was somehow surprised that she remembered my moves so well, and started laughing in amusement.

“These are your same old moves you’ve always had, Vortinda.” She joyfully remarked. “Come now, you need to show me something new.”

In quick fashion, I riposted her attack, and then stuck my lightsaber into the ground. With the opening, i obliged her request, and slapped her right across her red Twi’lek face, turning her joyful smile into a look of disbelief.

“Satisfied?” I cheekily said to her.

Elena was finally able to throw up her defense screen for cover, but the tracer missiles that Netherim launched were brutal to the screen’s integrity. However brief it was, it still bought her a moment to return fire with an charged burst of shots. She immediately followed it up with a special trick shot of hers, using the Force to redirect her bolt to strike him in the back. The hit forced him to throw out a heatseeking missile from his arm launcher to buy some time, but Elena quickly hightailed it before it landed, and managed to redeploy a new defense screen to hunker down momentarily.

Tantane tried her best to create distance between me and herself. I stayed as close as I could to limit her capabilities to use more Force attacks. I’ve put her on the defensive for a while, unrelenting in my strikes against her static barriers. But as I delivered another blast of Force energy, it clashed against a Force barrier she instantly put up, nullifying it. Instantly, a bright flash blinded me, and she regained the distance she wanted, bombarding me with a barrage of blasts and Force Lightning. Her true power laid in her immense knowledge and command of the Force. There was a very little chance I stood against that kind of power.

Elena saw this happening and sent a couple of quickdraw shots towards Tantane, wounding her across her arm and leg. Angered by the pain, the Twi’lek’s attention turned to my sister. Drawing more power from the Force, the Sith sent multiple lightning strikes on Elena, but Elena was too quick and dodged all of them. I recovered quickly in time to see Netherim preparing to launch a missile from his backpack launcher. Hastily, I dispatched my lightsaber towards him, the blade grazing across his armor. It did not faze him, and I had to stop him from flanking my sister. A leap was all it took to distract him long enough for his missile input to time out. The Mandalorian was taller than me, but he was sluggish. He activated his rocket thrusters and tried to uppercut me, but he missed. Just as I was about to land a strike, he detonated a boost from his jet, knocking me far back from him and into Tantane’s view.

I recovered from the attack quickly, but the blowback knocked my focus off for a moment, unable to leap again after him. But in the corner of my eye, I saw Tantane charging up a blast of dark Force energy. Right in front of me, Netherim used his jet pack to elevate himself up in the air, with his missile launcher at the ready. I could feel through the Force where Elena was and she was hunkered down near me, attaching modifications to her blasters.

The missiles started raining down of me, and I couldn’t react properly, channeling the Force to guard me from the attack. Elena was not ignorant to her situation either, and she interrupted Tantane’s charge, before returning fire with a volley of blasts that penetrated her static barrier. Her barrier was down, and I took the chance by throwing my lightsaber at her, knocking her off her feet.

Netherim noticed his employer down for the count, and he knew he stood lesser chance against the both of us combined. But he didn’t care about those odds, and kept on firing against us. We were forced into cover, unable to retaliate against that onslaught of blasters and missiles. He stopped momentarily to pick Tantane up, and as we ducked out of cover, Elena and I were hit by a concussion missile and an electro dart respectively. We were left dazed and stunned long enough for Netherim to make his escape with Tantane from the Temple.

i broke free from the dart, but Elena was still left dazed from the concussion missile. I helped her down onto the ground to rest, holding her closely. I sat there next to her as I waited for her to snap out of her daze. The fight left us mostly unharmed, but I was so drained that I couldn’t think of anything else other than resting. But holding Elena in my arms reminded me of the nights we spent as kids on Nar Shaddaa, tired from running from the gang mobs we escaped from. It left me feeling nostalgic, and as I laid down myself, I took the opportunity to revel in it for a while.

Sinjan Origins – Chapter 13: Meeting

As the sun begins to set, I sat down by the jetty, dangling my feet above the sea as I admired the beautiful amber sky. I enjoyed myself an interesting food item from one of the stands. Roasted chicken bits with lettuce, thin slices of carrot and turnip, wrapped in a thin piece of flat bread. The flavors were unique, different from anything I’ve ever had before, and it made for good dinner. I was left feeling content till the last bite.

It was the time that Selene mentioned last night. Yet, I don’t see any signs of her anywhere. Come to think of it, I had no idea how she intended to meet me. Would she disguise herself and come on land to find me here?

But as i had that thought, I hear Selene’s voice call out. “You actually came.”

I looked below me, and there she was, swimming just underneath the jetty. “I was going to say the same thing.” I said in reply.

“Don’t look down.” she immediately retorted. “I don’t want to draw attention here.” I immediately jerked my head back up, but from what I saw, she was fearful of being found and captured. She did not want to be found.

“Now, answer me,” she said. “Where are you up to in your dreams?”
“Hold on, Selene. I need to know what is going on.”
“Just tell me what I want to know.” she pleaded me.

After a moment’s hesitation, I answered her question. “I dreamt of my trial. When I was accused of being a demonspawn.”
“That was for surviving that high fall, wasn’t it?” she asked in surprise. “But you saved Haruki.”
“That’s Lady Mitsu– never mind.”

“Listen, I think I know what’s happening to you and me.” Selene explained. “I need you to dream again to be sure.”

At that point, I was infuriated. “Are you serious, Selene? Is it all a game to you?” I shouted, as I looked down to confront her. “All I want to know is what the fuck is going on. Do mermaids really get off at playing men lik-”

But before I could finish my sentence, I heard her sniff in sadness; tears forming up in her eyes. It only just occurred to me that even though she is a mermaid, she is still a sentient being, with feelings like any other person. And I hurt them, without thinking about how demanding I have been with her about this.

I looked up in regret. “I’m sorry that I didn’t realise.” I apologised to her, but then, there was the sound of a splash below me. I looked down again, and Selene was gone. She swan away, hurt by my selfishness.

As the night started to fall over, I felt irritated at myself, laying down backwards on the floorboards. I gazed up to the dark dotted sky and wondered. What has happened to me? What happened to that clueless and naive boy that I once was?

The environment I was may be new, but it felt familiarly cosy. White colored walls brightened the lights of the large enchanted chandelier, that hangs high above us. Nothing about the room was hidden from sight. The large bed in the back. The desk with short stacks of paper and stationery neatly organized right across us. This was Haruki’s quarters in Castle Crin. The same quarters that once belonged to her parents long ago.

She invited me in for some tea and as the night went on, we sat at the living area and shared stories; laughing over the more hilarious details. We were having a good time; and rightfully so. It was a night to celebrate. Haruki defended me in Nobles’ Court today and she proved my innocence; acquitting me of all charges. Not only that, in front of the entire Crin nobility, the King himself included, she named me her knight-protector, in fulfillment of Wilburt’s last wish, written in his letter to Sir Akio. It was a very eventful day.

Sitting next to Haruki talking, it felt more than just a chat between a Lady and her new knight-protector getting acquainted. To me, it was more like I was reconnecting with a long lost friend. Since the fall from the North Tower, we haven’t had a chance to catch up with each other and talk, very much like how we used to. Between recovering and the accusations, there was hardly a time that we could find like this. It was exhilirating to be in the company of my closest friend.

As we started to wind down from the story telling, the moment became silent. Both of us were pondering over what next to say. I didn’t want to leave yet, and I could tell she didn’t want me to either.

“How’s your shoulder?” I asked her.
“It’s fully healed for a while now, Fukuda.”
“Oh, right…” I felt so awkward after that, and my mind darted fast for a new topic.

“You were incredible in court today, Haruki.” I complimented her, recalling events from earlier today. “Calling out Lord Reidai on his claims about the Netherim like that. It was phenomenal.”

Haruki blushed. “Thanks, but I can’t help but feel like I got lucky there, Fukuda. The King hardly ever speaks up during a trial and cuts it short like he did today.”

“No, you shouldn’t sell yourself short.” I said. “I’m really being honest with you here. I’ve never seen you work before, and what you did in there today was really amazing.” She smiled again, looking down to her empty teacup in modest embarrassment. “And I’m not just saying that because you saved me from execution.” I added.

“Well, in the end, we got what we wanted, right?” she said.

I nodded in agreement. “Wilburt’s last wish. For me to become your knight-protector.” I looked down at my armor, neatly kept to the side of the room. I thought about my new role as knight-protector, and the joys and fears that it entailed. It put me in a great position to be close to Haruki. It’s what Wilburt wanted for us. It’s what Haruki and I wanted too.

“You know, I fought for more than just Wilburt, Fukuda.” said Haruki, as she put her teacup on the tray. “I fought for us, too.” She then wraps her arms around me and leans her head on my shoulder. “You’ve always been there for me, ever since we were kids.” Her tone started to soften. “You care, don’t you? You’ve always been my friend. Kind, thoughtful, never angry with me, no matter what I do. Where would I be here if you hadn’t come along?”

She snuggled her head into my shoulder. “You’re the only one I want to be with forever, Fukuda. No one else matters more.”

Her words were kind to me. It was relieving to know that she too wanted the same thing. I placed my arm over her shoulder, and leaned my head against hers, feeling her sleepiness. I thought of taking her to her bed, but I was feeling tired myself. And, for a reason I can’t explain, I didn’t want to move from this spot.

“Hey Fukuda.” Haruki softly whispers. “Do you love me?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Because I love you.”

My sleepy eyes immediately snapped open. Those words; they left me stunned. I’ve never been so shocked by words before. For the first time in my life, my mind was drawing a blank, unable to believe what I just heard. For the first time, I didn’t know how to react.

Haruki noticed my lack of a reply, and looked up to glance at my dumbfounded expression. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

I tried to play it off. “Nothing. Just that… I-I…”

“Come on, you know you can tell me anything.” She smiled, as if expecting something.

“I-I… I don’t know how to feel. You’re… in love with me?”

“Yes….” she said, concerned and confused. She only took a moment to realise what I was thinking about.

“No one’s ever told you that before, have they? That they love you.”

I shook my head, silent; still trying to make sense of things. I was seen as a monster my whole life. Hearing someone declare a love for me is the strangest thought that has ever crossed my mind. Even if it came from Haruki. I was lost in my thoughts, pondering intensely over the situation I am in.

“Hey.” She called out, turning my head towards her. The disappointment in her gaze was gone and the concern she had for me was irresistible to deny. Never have I felt so safe, having my head held like it is now, and I couldn’t help but be entranced, letting her have her way with me.

“Don’t think with your brain. I know it’s all new and confusing, but it’s okay not to think.” she assured me. “Love is simple. It comes from here, in your heart. Not up there in your head. When it comes to love, you follow your heart.”

Somehow, I was able to do as she said and started feeling with my heart. Suddenly, there was a wave of new sensations overwhelming me. My breath started to shorten. My body felt tingly, and I could literally hear my heart beat getting stronger and stronger. It was then I started to notice more about Haruki. I found myself admiring her radiant skin. Her blonde hair, no longer lengthy and flowing, cut to her shoulders now; a symbol of a promise to keep on living that she made to Wilburt and her parents after the North Tower.

The retina of her eyes were deep crimson, and it shimmered from the chandelier light. It was mesmerising to look deeper into them and see the pure soul hidden inside. Glancing down, I just noticed how cute her nose was, and how full and plump her lips were. Before I knew it, I was leaning towards them, close enough for me to feel her breath over mine. But I went no further. The thought of overstepping my boundaries loomed in my mind. She is a Lady of a House, and I’m just a knight, sworn to protect her. She is my best friend, and the thoughts of ruining that ran through my mind.

But the sudden feeling of a soft and warm kiss stopped my train of thought. Haruki didn’t care; she wanted this too. My thoughts melted away and I started living in the moment. This soft and warm feeling pressing on my lips; this was my world now. An impulse acted up in me, goading me on to go further, but Haruki beat me to it. She stuck her tongue in my mouth, and played with mine, gliding over and under it. It took me a moment, but I soon reciprocated her, reaching deep into her mouth. We made them dance around like two swords clashing and riposting, moving to the rhythm of our intense breaths. It was wet, sloppy and the sweetest thing I have ever had.

Haruki pulled away for a moment, both of us left trembling with desire. The thoughts I once had came back, but they became moot. I held her cheek, and caressed it, calming her. Haruki was all that I could think of, and I never wanted the night to end.

“Is this what love is?” I asked her. “I’ve never felt my heart like this, just from thoughts about you, Haruki.”

She gave me a wide smile. “Yes.”

“But i’ve always had you in my mind, Haruki. How do I know this is really love?”

“Say it, Fukuda.” she commanded me, still smiling. “Say it and mean it, with all your heart.”

I did as commanded from the love of my life. “I love you, Haruki.”

I just woken up from the best dream I ever had. The greatest memory of my life; one I never want to forget for the rest of my life. As I blankly stare into the night sky, I took in a deep breath of fresh air. But the strong scent of the salty sea snapped me back from my subconscious, and I realised I had fallen asleep on the jetty.

I rubbed the sleepiness from my eyes, and then I realised that there was a weight on my right arm. I turned my head slightly and the salt-scented blonde hair of a woman touched my nose. I slightly jerked, reacting from the sudden notice. The motion inadvertently woke the woman up.

“Woah, Selene.” I recognised her, as she slowly opened her eyes. “How long have you been back?”

She grinned with happiness, much like how I did just now. “I felt that kiss.” she said. “It was so sweet.”
“What?” I said, confused.
“I now know why this is happening, I know why you and I are dreaming of your past.”

“Hold on, hold on.” I sad as I sat up from the jetty. “I need things to wind back for a while.” I then noticed that she was bare naked, and I let out a sigh of disbelief.

“You came back.”
“Yeah.”
“Listen, I’m sorry for what I said earlier today.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. You’ve more than made things up to me by letting me see you and Haruki together.”
“Okay, now please tell me.” I said to her, still flustered over the thought of her laying naked next to me. “How can you see my dreams… dream my memories, or… How?”
“That night we met, when I touched your heart with my magic. I left some of it in your heart by accident.”

“Okay then.” I accepted that she didn’t know about it. “Can you remove it and stop me from dreaming my past?”

“Aww, but I want to see more of you and Haruki.” she replied flirtatiously, touching the side of my head with her hand. “The two of you are so wonderful together.”

I immediately gripped her wrist and gently moved it away. “This isn’t a story you want to see to the end, Selene.”

Her elatedness dropped, as she realised the seriousness in my tone. “I can’t remove the magic. We need to go to Mermaid Rock and see what Mycerah can do.” She then grabs my hand holding her wrist with the other. “But you have to help me stop the Sirens.”

SWTOR Story: Chapter 3

It’s been a long while since we have been searching around the Machine Chamber. We’ve all split up across the three floors to search for pretty much anything out of the ordinary. Netherim finished his searches on the first two floors and is now scanning the top floor with his probes. After what happened earlier, I focused more on centering myself and keeping away from the visions. I thought I was alright, and now I barely trust myself with doing anything to find Dad.

“Hey!”, Elena called out to the group from the second floor. “I may have found something here.”

Everyone headed to the gap in the middle. “There’s some carbon markings here. Looks like someone had shot a blaster here.”

“That’s it?” Tantane rebutted. “Blaster marks? They could have been made from the fight against Revan all those weeks ago.”

“I know.” Elena replied with sass. “Which is why I wanted to ask if anyone knows a slicer. I need some help accessing something in the HoloNet.”

Without hesitation, Netherim reached for his holocommunicator and tossed it to her. Without saying a word, he walked back away from the gap and continued his scans.

Elena just shrugged it off and activates the comm.

Beep beep!

The sensor alarm went off on Netherim’s console. His probes have discovered something up on the top floor. The four of us made our way up to the top floor and towards the location the probes sounded off. Netherim was already there, at the wall north of the area, beginning to decode something on his console. As soon as we all arrived, Netherim finished his decoding, and the sound of a stealth field generator went off, revealing a dead body laying there.

“Huh.” Elena remarked. “That’s something you never see.”
“I’m sorry, I’m still waiting for your illuminating explanation.” Tantane spoke sarcastically.

“Stealth field generators deactivate upon being attacked by an enemy.” Elena explained. “You can overload your generator for a quick getaway, but it doesn’t stay active through death.”

As Elena explained, I began to study the body even closer.

“So what does that all lead to?” Tantane asked.
“Thanks to Mako, I’ve been able to get a holo of Revan’s defeat here weeks ago. The carbon marks I found weren’t created by the battle then. They were newly made.”
“So there was a fight here then. Good job stating the obvious, given that we have a dead body right here in front of us.”

Elena stoically took her sass with her usual smile. “The Dark Council must be very lost without you, huh?” She turned back to me, knowing that I was examining the dead body. “What’d you found out so far, sis?”

The body was a female Human, dressed in an Imperial officer’s uniform. It must have been one of the Imperial troops that was part of the expedition team Dad and Raivk was on.

“Well, the burn marks and the hole in her chest was caused by a lightsaber.” I pointed out.
“Honestly, does this family actually excel in stating the obvious?” Tantane commented.

I reached out through the Force to sense for the one who stabbed her in her chest. The energy I felt was familiar. Too familiar. Momentarily I sensed the man who inflicted the wounds on this Imperial officer, and he was teeming with enough Dark Side energy capable of consuming all life in the galaxy. I had no doubts.

“It’s Vitiate.” I said, panting. Even if it was for a moment, the Dark Side of the Emperor was almost choking, His influence was as strong as ever, as if I never defeated him in his fortress in the first place. I was left gasping for air, finding myself in the embrace of my sister.

“It was a possessed Sith who killed this person. And there were a group of them, all under the control of the Emperor.”
“He”s no longer our Emperor, mind you.” Tantane added. “After all, the Republic announced his death.”

Tantane lets out a sigh of boredom. “So the expedition team was attacked by a squad of Vitiate’s possessed. Well, that’s fantastic. Our progress on finding the expedition team has gone to about zero.” She then began to clap sarcastically. “Well done, team.”

“Has anybody ever told you you need to shut up?” Elena said.
“Maybe, but I have been told I never listen well.”

As I finally calmed down, I noticed a datapad stuffed between the belt and back of the deceased officer. I reached out to grab it off the belt. Elena was surprised to find a datapad so out of place. She knew as much as I did that someone planted it there. The same person who could have left it.

We had hope in our hearts on what it could be, and began reading the note that was left on it.

To whoever finds this datapad,

The Jedi and I have incapacitated our attackers temporarily. They were possessed by the Emperor, and no doubt they will chase us once woken up. By the time you are reading this, we and the rest of the team would currently be hiding out in the forests of Yavin IV, possibly evading our attackers as they chase us throughout the planet. As we lead them further and further away from the Coaliton Base, we are only hopeful that we can find a way off-world and with it, evidence onto the whereabouts of Vitiate, after his revival.

The Jedi adds that if his daughters are reading these now, he sends his love and says not to follow his trail.

He is very assuring to the team that we will all make it out alive. I trust that he is right.

Raivk

Even if we were lightyears apart, Dad always thought about us, his daughters. Dad had always been the moral support of any team he was on, and his gift of encouraging us throughout our lives was proof as any that it was him that is there. In so many ways do I feel so ashamed to have forgotten how close we always have been. I feel like I’ve failed him as his daughter.

It is a relief for both Elena and I to know that Dad is alright. But despite his words, we knew better than to follow his word. He needed help and we are here to save him. Vitiate wasn’t going to get in our way of that.

“So Raivk left a note behind to let us know he and the Jedi safely escaped.” said Tantane, before pausing for a moment, realising something. “Oh no, the obvious stating is contagious.”

She quickly shrugged it off and continued. “Right then. we’ve found where the team went. Let’s return to Marr and Shan for our debriefing.”

“You’re kidding me, right?!” I called out at Tantane. “They are still out there! We can’t leave them alone to fight Vitiate.”
“You read the datapad. They are doing fine on their own and they will find a way out.”
“Our mission is to find them and…”
“Find them and report back on their whereabouts. Have you forgotten? We’re not called upon to go into the jungle to save a worthless Sith and Jedi from certain doom.”

I kept my fist clenched tightly, insulted but keeping myself reminded not to strike her down. But she had other ideas.

“Our work here is now done, my dear Vortinda.” said the Twi’lek. Immediately she reaches for her lightsaber and ignites it. Netherim followed suit and aimed his blaster at us.

“That just means our temporary alliance is over.”

Stream of Consciousness: 10 years, 1 anime. A life changing moment.

As a head note, I’d like to point out that this is my first Stream of Consciousness post. Basically what you are reading is whatever pops in my head as i am typing. Currently I’m listening to music from the OST of the anime I will be mentioning about, Shingetsutan Tsukihime. The Sacred Moon, Gibbous Moon, Crescent. Whatever I have downloaded from long ago. I am listening to them as I go.

Think of this stream of Consciousness posts as an insight to how I think of things. These are quite personal and perhaps this is actually the first time I am putting myself out here. As you will soon read, I’m doing all of this because of the timing of things, and the realisation of certain things.

You will pretty much notice and pick up on a few things on the direction I am taking Sinjan Origins, so while not full-on spoilers, if you want to avoid a sort of reveal to the story, then I am sorry. I intend not to hold anything back here, and I don’t intend to edit any content in these Stream of Consciousness posts, as they should be what it is. Just me, writing about what I want to talk about.

I will be starting the music now. So if you want to click away, here is your chance to.

So, uhm. Shingetsutan Tsukihime. Lunar Legend Tsukihime. This was an anime that I had picked up back in 2005. When I picked it up, I was not expecting much from it. It was just like any anime that I would watch, in a time when buying anime discs and watching them at home was a thing in my secondary school days.

Sure enough, I popped the DVD into my player and I watched it from start to end. There is a Facebook page that I am following currently called Arcueid Brunestud, which is a fan page to one of the main characters in this anime. You’ll see in the pictures below or you can Google her. I could introduce her here, but… Ah screw it. I will anyway.

This will be my introduction to the character for you guys to read, so to other Arcueid and Tsukihime fans, i do apologise if I get something wrong. But basically, Arcueid is a vampire created by the ones known as the True Ancestors, fellow vampires who were pure. She was created as a weapon to destroy any of the false vampires and she was perfect. Until the day when a man named Roa introduced her to her first taste of blood. In a frenzy, she murdered the True Ancestors and after coming to her senses, she kills Roa. But as Roa is a son of a bitch who knows how to reincarnate, Arcueid made it her eternal mission to slay Roa whenever he reincarnates, chained up to suppress her new thirst for blood, and be ready to hunt and kill Roa.

How she is introduced into the story of Tsukihime is something that I don’t want to go through now, because I like to be an ass about things sometimes. Hehe. But please bear with me in that regard, because what i really want to focus is on the impact Shingetsutan Tsukihime had on me all those 10 years ago. Says so in the title.

So I watched the anime till its end. And perhaps for the first time ever by an outside entity, I was moved by the ending of this anime. Sure enough, I did my research and till this date, the canon is something I don’t know, or care to know. I leave the interpretations to the audience.

But it moved me more than anything else in the world. Not my family, not my friends. But just the one moment. The moment where Arcueid, who (spoiler alert) died at the hands of Roa. This was the night after Shiki, the main character, and Arcueid fell in love. The next morning, she left Shiki a note that said “Bye Bye”, indicating that she knew she was going to die.

A spirit of Arcueid appeared before Shiki in his classroom, and when he admitted his love for her, she told him to forget about her, and disappeared. Shiki rushed to grab her, but realising it was a spirit or a figment of his imagination, he realises that Arcueid is gone.

After this, I started to look back at who Arcueid was. She was a vampire out of time and out of society. She was child-like, whimsical. All she wanted to do was enjoy the things that the new world had to offer to her. But she was serious when she needs to be. She knew full well that her hunt for the vampires and Roa could only occur at night. And when she gets serious, activating her powers, changing her iris from deep crimson red to yellow, she lives up to her original purpose as a weapon.

I’m sure some, if not most, of you have started to pick up on some similarities here. Evidently so when I release the next chapter of Sinjan Origins. But again, I digress.

But yes, I fell in love with Arcueid. Till this day, 10 years later, I still do. To me, she became the embodiment of all my desires. Mainly in finding love. This all occured well past my teenage years and it still does in a certain aspect. I dreamt of her every night. I’d pretend to kiss her. I’d pretend that she was real. Arcueid Brunestud was basically my everything. My “Waifu” in a time before the term even existed.

But as the term surfaced, I began to hate the word “waifu”. With all due respect to anyone who has waifus, the term felt derogatory. A person is basically degrading the character, basically shackling her to his every whim and desire. I wouldn’t do that to my dear Arcueid. She doesn’t belong to me. I choose to belong to her. I was her knight-protector, and she was my lady.

To some of my friends reading this, who may start to be weirded out, I’m sorry. This was gonna be revealing. But anyway, over the years, she evolved for me. She became something I subconsciously molded into what readers of my blog knows now as Lady Haruki Mitsuki. For a while now, I’ve given Arcueid the nickname of Haruki. From there, that became something I could call mine. And liberating as it is to say, it does not help me socially at all. I’m just renaming Arcueid. She remained my inner desires. The things that I want, but were out of my grasp. Imprisoned behind a blinding wall, as I like to call it. A little Evanescence reference there.

Having her “be there for me” covers up the fact that all this time, I’ve been lonely and longing for love. It is because of these things that I’ve been able to handle being alone, but ultimately, I was feeling all of that. Introverted as I am, I can blend into a crowd like a ghost. Crowds has never been my thing, because I find myself unable to stand out in any way, shape, or form. I did have familial love, and I still do. I am closest to my mom and there has been many times when i become very afraid of losing her. I’d pray a lot for her safety and for her longevity. But at the same time, I wanted Arcueid. I wanted companional love, if that is understandable. I’ve been in and out of love before, and in between each time, I find myself coming back to my dear Haruki. It was my own love for myself, yes, but I used to say that I actually have a lot of love to give someone. I think that I’d be great boyfriend material. Someone who could emotionally support my girl. Someone who could stand there and protect her like her knight-protector. I’d say “Someone who could be the castle she can run to, if she ever needs one.” but that reminded me of a conversation I had with a classmate about a year ago.

But on more about what this is suppose to be about, and less about my own thoughts of what’s wrong with me, I discovered just how much Tsukihime and Arcueid kicked off my love for writing stories. It may have started out with writing something to fix and justify the death that I could not accept, but it grew bigger and bigger. As I am into video games and superhero comics, anime and anything pretty much pop culture, they all had one thing in common. A story. A lore. Something that gives them the depth of an ocean. I remember actually reading the stories printed in the Warcraft 3: Reign of Chaos manual. I read about the Sundering, Illidan’s betrayal, and all that stuff. The images remain quite fresh into my mind. My idol is Chris Metzan, the man behind every Blizzard story that I played through and memorised to the T. It would be a dream of mine to meet him, and sort of go into a discussion with him on how he does his work and stuff.

And all of this couldn’t have happened without Shingetsutan Tsukihime. I wouldn’t have dreamt of writing if it weren’t for my love for a fictional character. I wouldn’t have had all these storylines that i have crafted over the years, for the cast of characters that I have created or inherited. I don’t really care about the date but everything I want to go for started 10 years ago. Shingetsutan Tsukihime. Arcueid Brunestud. That shoulder-length blonde hair. Her long dress. The moon, even. My life changed thanks to them.

And as I end this, listening to the OST of the anime, with a sense of sorrow looming in my eyes, imagining that my dear Haruki is leaning her head on my shoulders. I now remember grieving. That’s all I can think of now. Grieving. I might hate what I have just written over all of this, but I don’t care anymore. The person simply known as the Captain, laid bare for you.

It’s been 10 years, Arcueid. You actually changed my life. It’s hard to believe but you actually did. I still dream that one day, I will find you out there in the world. Maybe you are that girl in green I keep dreaming about. Maybe you are that girl whose birthday is November 9th. But for now, I love you, Thank you for these 10 years. So long as I keep writing, so long as I feel heartbroken inside, you will still be there. You are my protector, you’ve always have been, haven’t you? You’re always in my mind, in my heart, and you will live on. And when I die, I will meet you at your castle near the Moon. In all of its big and giant glory.

Thank you, Haruki. I love you very much.

And thank you all for reading this.

There was a period of time recently when I was feeling depressed over everything bad going on in my life. Whether I have overcame it is not the question. Whether it actually stemmed from all that I have said doesn’t matter. I am here now. And I want to write and publish my stories. To those who have supported me through, I really thank you from the bottom of my heart. And I want to keep going with this, and become a better writer. My dreams will one day be real. Publishing my stories, getting my scripts into production. Meeting Chris Metzan. Writing an actual canon story for Star Wars, one of my most favourite fictional universes ever.

And to think, it all started 10 years ago, thanks to one character, and one anime.

Tired now, so I’m headed to bed. 🙂